TAA068 Compassion, Patience, and Competition

Learning to have more patience and compassion with myself.nnApplying my yoga off the mat.nnBack when I was playing competitive sports and my team was in a tournament. I didn’t get picked and all my old shit came up and caught me off guard.nnI didn’t get picked.nnI was back in the school yard crying to my teacher that no one would play with me.nnAt the game I felt disappoint and I found I naturally resisted it.nnBut then I let it flow and I felt a lot better just feeling disappointed.nnI used to do karate. I was so intense and non-accepting that when I came in 2nd place, I would throw the trophy in the garbage.nnSo how can I change my mind here and how I treat myself?nnI used my dad to do so.nnMy dad teaching yoga and him getting frustrated doing balance posesnnSo I learned from my father as well.nnThe thing here is that I had a connotation that being hard on myself, and beating myself up afterwards was serving me.nnBecause I hate being in that space so much, that I will do whatever it takes to get out of it and so I will spend more time focused on the skills I need to improve so I can get picked or win.nnBut, what I’m learning is that I can still improve those things but also enjoy the journey.nnTo do that I have to adopt an attitude of playfulness, and looking at myself with adoration. I want to have fun in the process. That’s more sustainable and less exhausting, and then I’ll be more pleasant to be around.nnI used to get so intense, and then beat myself up for days after a game. So after I stopped roller derby five years ago I avoided any competitions because I knew what came out if I did. Now that I can coach myself I can go back to what I love with a more positive light.nCurious and playfulnnGreat thoughts to have:nI adore myselfnI can be playfulnI am curiousnI deserve to have funnThese vibrations are much more sustainable than shame

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