Have you ever woken up in the morning and noticed you felt heavy? I don’t mean that extra serving of ice-cream or a second plate of mashed potatoes. I mean, when you feel like your body is heavy from shame, guilt, self deprecating thoughts, and so forth. If you’re not sure what that feels like, let me describe it a bit. Shame, for me, feels like a radiating pain around my heart. My legs feel heavy. It’s almost as if my body is wrapped in saran wrap and every movement is a chore. Do you know what I’m talking about?
I’ve lived most of my life in shame, guilt, and self-deprecation, but I had no idea! I just walked around with what felt like a ton of bricks on my back and continued to trudge through the mud. So, if this is you, I get it! It sucks. Big time. But I want to tell you something you may not know. You’re creating that feeling.
Whhhhhaaaaaa? I know. It stings a little, but it’s true. We are the creators of our feelings. No circumstance can create the vibration of emotions within us. It’s our thoughts. Still not convinced? Let’s take a closer look.
I want you to think of 3 amazing things you’ve done in your life. I’ll wait….
(Go into details: see the colors; describe the scene; picture your face and your surroundings)
Notice how you feel. Probably pretty good, yea? You created that. I didn’t give you anything. That was all you. Now, let’s say you’re feeling loved right now. When you feel loved, you’re going to act WAY different than when you feel shame. For example, when I feel love, I reach out to my loved ones. I give more praise and high fives. I clean up the house. I pet my dog. I smile much more. When I feel shame, I close myself off. I secret eat. I think everyone is against me. Basically, I don’t show my best. Shame, for me is like going to a fancy cocktail party in muddy boots, overalls, dirt on my face and then proceeding to compare myself to the most sparkly, gorgeous person I can find. It feels terrible. It’s not fair to me, and I track mud all over the carpet of said fancy party.
So how do you want to show up? Notice your thoughts. Adjust accordingly, and wiggle into that fancy, sparkly cocktail dress with hair did up, a smile, and the knowledge that you are amazing, brilliant, and beautiful. The only thing that can make that different is a thought. It is through this process that we lose the emotional weight.
Interested in the power of coaching? Sign up for a FREE Mini Session with me. I help you release shame, guilt, and all of the emotional heaviness. Click Here to Sign Up or Shoot me an email By Clicking Here
PS! If you’re a man reading this, thanks for hanging in there. You show up to the cocktail party in full tuxedo, diamond encrusted walking stick, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and the best hair in the room.