Deep healthy relationships: The Power of Vulnerability
Today my topic is how to form and sustain healthy meaningful relationships and the power of vulnerability
There is a poem that I absolutely adore and I usually handed out during my yoga teacher training’s.
It Takes Courage
It takes strength to be firm,
It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubt.
It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.
There is so much wisdom in this poem about how to win at life and also the secrets to healthy relationships.
I think as addicts in recovery, a lot of us have undealt with shame and guilt and we have learned how to consciously manage it. Most of us have establish routines, we might have meetings or coaches that we go to for support.
Unless we know and accept the deep dark parts of ourselves, we will be resistant to show ourselves fully to others and that’s what it takes for healthy, meaningful relationships.
I remember until my mood was perfect, unless I was fully “on” I would not allow myself to be seen. I would hide. When I couldn’t physically hide, I would hide behind lies, people pleasing, taking pills, or drinking copious amounts of alcohol to numb and out on an illusion that everything was ok.
I couldn’t imagine people could accept me when I weak because I myself couldn’t. I hated a weak person. It made me angry and disgusted. So I didn’t feel safe around others to be that way and they probably didn’t feel safe around me either.
Plus I was an asshole. I’m sure that didn’t help.
Then I just forgot how to take the armor off and adopted the identity of a warrior. A harsh, unkind, blind warrior.
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